A Woman On The Verge

thoughts and musings of my mind

Raise your hand if…

You don’t want to admit your body is telling you time marches on.

I am getting old; it is taking longer for injuries to heal. While mentally I don’t feel my age, apparently my body likes to remind me that I am indeed over the age of 25. Recently I tweaked my knee doing something I do every day, pivoting to turn around – well at least I think that is how I did it. It used to take a couple of days a week at most for the pain to go away. It has been three weeks and I am still limping around if I sit too long. I guess I should be extremely grateful I changed jobs, because my old job had me sitting all day long at least the new job expects me to move around and get up from my seat. I just look like an invalid as I hobble down the hallway. Last week I even had my knee wrapped and I was downing ibuprofen every 4-5 hours to keep the pain at bay, I don’t remember ever having to do that for a minor injury before. I am not a fan of this getting old stuff.


Been a long long while…

I know I haven’t really blogged much in the past couple of years.  My previous job didn’t really allow time for that.  My new job frees up a bit of time. I am getting ready to head out for the day, but I wanted to touch base and share my annual report from last year.

My top blog is an old one I did a few years ago translating a song from Gaelic to English. I prefer the Gaelic, it sounds prettier.


I have some plans in the works for new blogs.  We shall see how it goes.  This year is a big year for me.  I have a new job, I am hitting a milestone birthday, and who knows what else, it is only April!

Can we blame Reality TV?

Sex and the City (film)
Sex and the City (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was reading reviews of a fantasy type TV show, I forget which one, something I was watching on NetFlix or Amazon and no one had anything good to say about the show. I liked it was good for escapism.  But one of the reviews struck me as amusing because the title said not real enough and they weren’t talking about the special effects.  They were complaining that the life situation wasn’t real enough, that it was too fake.  I was laughing so hard I nearly dropped my phone.  Because when you think about it all aside from Reality Television – which is actually just as fake as a scripted show but in a different way, all scripted shows are fake they are all fiction. I do not watch scripted TV shows for the feeling of real relationships or real anything, I watch them to get away from the reality of life.  So who is with me? Can we blame Reality TV for this logic? Or is it just the little trolls who post reviews on websites who think this and want the attention?

Small town or Big City Girl – The Grocery Bags

English: Apartment buildings, corner Queen Str...

Two bags of food and a case of water, should I do this all in one trip or make it two? How many people out there live in apartments and know this feeling?  When I used to live in an apartment after my grocery shopping trip I would make sure I pulled out every single bag I had and schlep them up the stairs to my second floor apartment in one trip.  Until recently I realized I was still trying to do that when I got home to my little house, a house which has a private drive and only two steps up to the door I use.  I know why I did t his in the apartment, I didn’t want to leave the car unlocked or open, and honestly who wants to go up and down a flight stairs more than once? I also lived in apartments for just over 10 years.  One apartment I lived in the parking lot was not right next to our apartment so it was very not convenient in general to make more than one trip.  Often times I would limit my shopping to just essentials and was usually at the store during the week to get food for dinner.

master 006I don’t live in an apartment or even a condo anymore, and I have lived in my house for almost a decade and getting away from this habit has been hard, it does tell me I am a city girl and I would be comfortable in an uptown condo somewhere in downtown Columbia. But, I love my little house and I enjoy the peace of not sharing walls – well except for my neighbor Trixie who has been known to blow leaves off her driveway, which is right next to my bedroom at 7 am on a Saturday – so annoying. Anyway, My driveway is right next to my back door so the true schlepping is minimal especially since my kitchen is right next to the door.  And yet I still often attempt to grab up all my bags, leverage my case of water and lug it all to the door only to have to put half of my purchases down because I forgot to arrange my keys for easy lock access. Oh first world problems, I know but it always reminds me that I do not have to carry every single bag into the house one time. Maybe I need to consider moving back to a condo in the city instead of living with the peace of the small town?

Up from underground

Underground roundel

I am done hiding from people.  For a long time the only way I could protect my fragile sanity was to stay hidden away from some people.  I found out last night that the person I was avoiding has left this life and as a result I don’t have to hide anymore.  This person was my brother.  He was a bad man, abusive, controlling, and a con artist.  I wanted nothing to do with him and the lies he spread about our family. He is gone now and I actually feel free to be me.

I did get a note from his wife filled with angry nasty words about how I was a horrible person, and for the first time in my life I laughed at anything she ever had to say. I found her anger and abuse so ironic given that they both espoused a life of devout right-wing Christianity, the kind that borders on extremism.

I am sad he is gone yes, because I always held out hope that he would have a true come to Jesus event and turn his life around, but God saw it fit to take him early, perhaps there really is a purgatory for people like him. I am sad that his children will never get to know the person I really am and they they will be brainwashed into thinking I am a bad evil person.  But, perhaps they will learn to think for themselves and see that not everything someone tells you is true.  Time will tell on that front.  I am no sad, however, that I can claim his widow is no longer my sister-in-law – we never saw eye to eye and she always seemed to think I was out to get something from her, not to mention the fact that I refused to kow tow to her husband and proclaim that he was the end all and be all leader of our family.

So goodbye underground bunker….and Hello World!

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