today at my new job I was dealing with a coworker, essentially he was having a temper tantrum because someone broke the housing thingy on the sink sprayer (I say temper tantrum because when you start swearing and hitting the sink it really can’t be much else) – you know the part that you set the sprayer into so it doesn’t dangle into the sink.
I actually ended up trying to calm him down, because he was quite noisy and we needed to get our work done. Not to mention the kitchen is in the Show Room and well people who walk in would have seen it happening. I would have done that anyway before I became a follower of The MannersCast and Modern Manners Guy, if only to get him to return to his work space upstairs. However since I have become an avid follower of these podcasts and have been researching things like office bullying it ended up going a different way. When he went on about how he wanted to find the person who broke the sprayer thingy something new happened. The old me would have made suggestions about how to find out and helped him gang up on the person, perhaps or I would have just sat and laughed while it was all going on. Today, though the new me actually stopped and asked my co-worker what good would it do to go and blame someone for something so trivial. His response was that it would make him feel good, and I just looked at him and said, but would it really make you feel good to put down someone else for something that was an accident? He stopped, looked at me and then said…… Now don’t be psychoanalyzing me…… I did step back at this point and just smiled then went back to my seat while he pouted a bit more before returning to his desk. I don’t know if I helped him see that being nice is best, but I do know I felt so much better about the interaction. I was quite proud of myself.
I honestly do not know how what I said to him came to mind….the bits about the being nice to each other and how making someone else feel bad really won’t help the situation., but I know if I hadn’t listened to those podcasts and done research on office bullying and begun making an effort to change my mindset it wouldn’t have happened. I remembered that one thing the guys from the MannersCast always said is that good manners is about making the other person feel better, not making yourself feel better by tearing them down has stuck with me and in some ways helped me get back on my feet after getting fired from last job. I know I still have a long way to go, but today’s milestone was pretty huge for me personally.
So thank you guys…….